In driving to get dinner on a Sunday afternoon the week before Christmas, it dawned on me how insane the traffic was. Christmas shopping is bullshit. What happened to when Christmas was all about family, love and, well, Jesus’ Birthday??? Now all it is is an excuse to go out and blow $2k on your family’s gifts and be broke for the rest of the year. Oh, what’s wrong, can’t find the Nintendo WII? OH! That’s okay because they’re giving out IOU’s this year… you can get it in January. What a fucking ripoff. Nobody needs all that shit – movies, expensive clothes, Nintendo, CD’s, etc. My mother keeps asking what I want for Christmas and I’m like “NOTHING!!!!”. I don’t need anything. I own my own home and I have a job, and I can buy my own shit. Besides, that’s what birthdays are for. The one day when you are special. If I know what I am getting for Christmas or my birthday, it blows the whole present. I like the element of surprise. I guess you could say the surprise is my gift. If you want to give me a lump of dog shit and wrap it up all nice and neat and you see that look in my eye when I open up the steaming pile, well that should be your ‘thank you’ right there – my expression.

Back to the point – I am not buying Christmas presents anymore. Nobody appreciates the shit I buy them or they just re-gift it. From now on, I will just go to the Christmas dinner and get drunk. Yup, drunken Christmas, no gifts, and I might even puke on the floor. You can call that your gift from me if you’d like.